{"id":11870,"date":"2023-02-11T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-11T01:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/goodnewsmags.com\/?p=11870"},"modified":"2023-07-24T14:43:18","modified_gmt":"2023-07-24T14:43:18","slug":"because-you-never-know-what-someones-going-through","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goodnewsmags.com\/fayetteville\/because-you-never-know-what-someones-going-through\/","title":{"rendered":"Anna Sapach – Life With an Autistic Child Is a Beautiful, Complicated Journey."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I<\/strong>MAGINE YOU\u2019VE planned to spend several hours in your favorite bookstore. You schedule a time to search for a few good books for stolen quiet hours a few times each year. It\u2019s something you always look forward to. You start with a specialty coffee, then head to the suspense shelves, pulling the latest novel from your favorite author and another new-to-you writer. You\u2019ve noticed the toddler going back and forth between his mom and the water fountain, and everything was fine until it wasn\u2019t. Without warning, the quiet is interrupted when the child throws himself to the floor and begins flailing his arms, crying uncontrollably despite his mom\u2019s best attempts to console him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What is your honest reaction? What are your first thoughts? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, imagine you are the child\u2019s mother. You\u2019re single, working, and doing all you can to provide and create a loving, stable home for your child. Hard enough, right? Now, imagine the child is on the autism spectrum. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna Sapach is that mom, and her son, Jacob, is autistic. Episodes like these are her reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve gotten a lot more confident about taking Jacob out in public, but it is hard when stuff like that happens. People stare, and it\u2019s very hard because it makes me feel panicked. I\u2019m trying not to cry while people stare, but it\u2019s so hard. I cry because Jacob is innocent and doesn\u2019t notice people staring or giving weird looks. Aside from having meltdowns, we\u2019ve both received the same looks while he\u2019s stimming\/flapping his arms in the grocery store. It hurts because he doesn\u2019t notice it, but one day he will. He also understands more than people realize, so questions that may seem innocent in passing aren\u2019t as nice on the receiving end,\u201d Sapach said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photographed by Brooke Snyder.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sapach processes life with attention deficit disorder, so ordinary tasks are a challenge for her, too. Pair that with her son\u2019s needs, and every step of the day must be carefully planned and considered to minimize the frustrations and potential for stressful reactions to sensory overload.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, \u201cSometimes it can be like a nuclear bomb. I feel guilty about something every single day. It\u2019s a beautiful and very complex day-to-day life. He has a sensory processing disorder and was diagnosed as nonverbal, but he\u2019s gotten better at verbalizing since he\u2019s gotten into school. But it\u2019s been so hard because he can\u2019t tell me what he wants or needs at times, and then he winds up having a meltdown. Then I feel really guilty because I\u2019m not meeting his needs because I can\u2019t figure out what he wants.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause of our needs, it can get messy sometimes. And there\u2019s a lot of crying. Sometimes he\u2019ll throw things or bang his head, and then I wind up sitting on the floor crying with him. So it\u2019s been one of the hardest things I\u2019ve ever done. Still, it\u2019s also the most rewarding because the little things that would seem easy for a neurotypical child are huge achievements when you have a kid on the autism spectrum, like saying a new word at the age of four when other kids are speaking in full sentences, it\u2019s a victory. Simple things like my kid picked up a crayon and doodled for two seconds \u2014 that\u2019s long when the day before he wanted to chew on the crayon and then toss it because he didn\u2019t want to do it. There\u2019s no such thing as a little <\/em>victory,\u201d Sapach explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photographed by Brooke Snyder.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Although the general public is more informed about the autism spectrum today than in the past, many still can\u2019t recognize its characteristics and respond differently to it. Families with a child on the spectrum interact more often with the grace and compassion desperately needed by both parent and child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today\u2019s world of social media often compounds the guilt and weight of parenting children who process the world differently. Posts of family outings, special meals, and daily milestones become an unintended measuring stick for struggling parents, even those of neurotypical children. We don\u2019t mean to compare ourselves on either side, but subconsciously we can\u2019t seem to avoid it. There\u2019s something in all of us seeking to be affirmed and valued, and we look externally for confirmation we\u2019re on the right track.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sapach internally wrestles with her emotions and reactions. \u201cThere are days where I can talk myself down and feel like everything\u2019s gonna be okay. You\u2019ll figure this out. And sometimes, something slight or inconvenient can happen, and I feel like I\u2019m not doing as good as I should be doing right now. But I think that\u2019s just being a mom in general.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Families living with autism soon learn words many of us never hear \u2014 words like neurotypical, neurodivergent, neurodiverse, sensory overload, and nonverbal. Processes that happen naturally for most of us are disrupted in the brain of an autistic child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Photographed by Brooke Snyder.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey have such big emotions that they can\u2019t regulate on their own, and they can\u2019t tell you what they need. And so it\u2019s an explosion of many things inside your brain \u2014 lights, big noises, misery, happiness, confusion, all of that all at once. And the ones that can\u2019t verbalize it can\u2019t tell you,\u201d Sapach said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It leaves parents facing uncertain futures with their children as they become adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sapach said, \u201cIt leads to so many things down the line, and I try not to think about that. So many kids on the autism spectrum don\u2019t get the care that they need in school. Some of their needs are never met, and it\u2019s not fair to them. It\u2019s an insane world of things \u2014 beautiful and heartbreaking and wonderful \u2014 so many different things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But for all the uncertainties, Sapach is sure of one thing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a good possibility he could be independent one day, but it could go either way, and I\u2019m fine with it. I\u2019m preparing him to learn to be independent, but if he isn\u2019t capable of being on his own one day, then I\u2019m prepared for him to live with me for the rest of my life. I will not complain about it,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more we learn, the more we can support families and children on the autism spectrum. It\u2019s not a once-and-done but an ongoing process of awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said, \u201cSometimes autism awareness gets recognition. People wear shirts and bracelets one month out of the year, and that\u2019s fine. They recognize it, but it never goes away for people who are living in it. It needs to be talked about more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talking more about the needs of those who can\u2019t speak up for themselves is a gift that will keep on giving. GN <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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