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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nAllen contacted me and said it was almost like I\u2019d always been there, but then I wasn\u2019t going to be there. So we got together before I left and spent some time together, then went out to dinner and just talked,\u201d Mary said. \u201cHe proposed to me in Washington one week, and we got married the next November. We\u2019ve been together since then until he went for a walk last Aug. 1.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mary glimpsed the passing flare of orange from the UT shirt he always wore on their walks, signaling his return, but decided to finish a TV show on their back porch. When she went inside, she found him looking as he had countless times, asleep with his arm on the back of the couch. But unlike those countless times, he didn\u2019t stir when she tried to wake him. And just like that, the one who\u2019d always been there was gone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mary said, \u201cEvery single day, he did something nice for me. I knew he did those things for me, but until he was not here anymore, I truly did not realize everything he did for me. And I hope he knows how grateful I am for that. I think he does.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
First her friend, then her partner \u2014 they were the Pitners. They added their children, Mike and Martha, and the Pitners grew to four.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was always, \u2018Let\u2019s go to the Pitners,\u2019 or \u2018The Pitners are coming.\u2019 If we had friends over, it was for Pitner parties. People would congregate with us. I miss that. I\u2019ve not just lost my partner, but my friend,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a loss felt by Allen\u2019s family, friends, and the community he served all his life. From his first job in civil engineering in Nashville to returning home to help in the family business, Economy Pen & Pencil Company, to his careers in community service as the chief executive officer of the Shelbyville-Bedford County Chamber of Commerce and membership director for the South Central Tennessee Tourism Association, Allen put others ahead of himself in all he did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never saw him do anything self-serving, ever. He wanted to do all he could to make his community better. That\u2019s just what he did and what we did as a couple, and that\u2019s how we raised our children. Your skin color, religion, ethnicity \u2014 none of that mattered to Allen, and it didn\u2019t matter to me. Both of our parents brought us up that way. If I die right now, I will be the most proud [of successfully teaching] our children they need to give back, help others, and be accepting of everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Pitners will forever cherish Big Al\u2019s memory, carrying him along on family vacations, through their holidays, celebrations, and Pitner parties. They will honor him by continuing to care for others in their communities, making the most of opportunities to give back on his birthday and holidays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And of all things, Mary does not want to miss the good God brings into her life as she grieves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m slowly learning that grief changes you, and I want to be sure it changes me in a positive way. You always hear it\u2019s different for everybody, and oh my goodness, it is different for everybody because everybody\u2019s lost a different person in a different kind of relationship. However you grieve is right for you. Grief is such a big thing that we don\u2019t like to talk about because it\u2019s not pleasant,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBut for me, Allen\u2019s death, although it\u2019s an awful, terrible thing, and he\u2019s going to be missed, makes my family realize and appreciate him for everything he did for us. It makes my friends realize and appreciate everything that he did. And I hope our community will look back and see how he made Shelbyville a better place.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Count your blessings as you recognize that life is not weird today because the person who\u2019s always been there is still here. Make life better for another person. Tell them you\u2019re with the Pitners. GN<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" LIFE WITHOUT someone who\u2019s always been there is not just hard. \u201cIt\u2019s just weird. That\u2019s the only word I can say when people ask me about it. It\u2019s just the strangest thing,\u201d said Mary Pitner. This \u2018thing\u2019 is her world without her husband, Allen Pitner, a presence in her life since second grade. They went […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":21383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/goodnewsmags.com\/shelbyville\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2024\/01\/2-4-1024x683.png\")
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