Grief has a way of shaking the very foundation of a person’s soul. It is a force that can leave even the strongest among us questioning everything they hold dear. Yet, as relentless as grief is, it also has the power to light a flicker of hope that guides a broken heart through the darkest night.
For Wendy Haywood, a mother of three and a woman of unrelenting faith, grief has been both a painful reality and a transformative teacher. Wendy and her family’s experience with loss is equally heartbreaking and deeply inspiring. She and her husband, Troy, raised their children with love, faith, and a sense of joy that continues to inspire them today.
“Arnold Engineering Development Complex brought us to Tullahoma 39 years ago. I am forever grateful for God’s provision, allowing us to raise our children in Tullahoma. Tullahoma is a wonderful place to raise a family,” Wendy said.
Today, their two sons carry forward those same values as pastors in Tennessee. Her son, Jesse, leads a church plant in Cookeville, while Jacob, their daughter Jaimie’s twin brother, is pursuing a doctorate and serving as a pastor in Portland.
Troy and Wendy believe the fruits of their home have grown from kindness, familial love, and abundant faith.
However, Wendy and Troy’s daughter, Jaimie, is no longer here to witness the incredible legacy of their family. She passed away unexpectedly, leaving behind two young children and an unimaginable void.
“She was full of love and cherished every moment,” Wendy recalled. “Her faith in God was evident in everything she did. She hated to miss anything, especially with family. I often think about that — how much she loved being part of life.”
Wendy described Jaimie as a deeply creative person with “a big, loving heart.” Though Jaimie worked as a court reporter, she spent her final years as a stay-at-home mom after the birth of her first child, something she embraced wholeheartedly. Being a mother was her greatest desire, and she cherished every moment with her family.
Jaimie’s love for her family and their traditions made the events that followed all the more heartbreaking.
Wendy recounted the day her world changed. Her daughter, healthy and lively just days before, suddenly fell ill with flu-like symptoms. Within 48 hours, she succumbed to sepsis. The loss was swift, shocking, and devastating. Wendy described those early days of grief as a time when her faith was tested in ways she never anticipated.
“I have a selfish mom’s heart,” Wendy admitted. “I want her here. But over the years, I’ve learned to trust God’s plan, even when it’s hard to understand.”
Amid such sorrow, Wendy, Troy, and their two sons leaned deeply into their faith. It became their anchor and a source of strength when nothing else could console them.
“I can’t imagine going through any of this without faith,” she said. “Praying was a big part of my journey. The joys of motherhood, even amid grief, gave us reasons to give praises to the Lord.”
Though true healing seemed far away, those joys continued to prosper, extending to the entire family.
Losing his twin sister became an equally heartbreaking and transformative moment for Jacob. After Jaimie’s passing, Jacob felt called to help others process and work through their grief. He is working on a dissertation on suffering and has authored a book, “Battles in the Promised Land.” In it, he reflects on the power of faith in guiding a broken heart through darkness, which is an experience that parallels his family’s own.
Nearly 11 years later, people still reach out to Wendy to share how Jaimie touched their lives and how she continues to impact them today.
“Recently, my husband got a text from someone saying that her passing changed his life,” Wendy shared.
“We didn’t want to lose our daughter, but knowing that many lives have been changed through her death brings comfort to our hearts.”
One of the most precious lessons Jaimie left the family was valuing the present. Her love for holidays and family gatherings still lingers, and the family can almost feel her jubilant spirit, especially during the holidays. These moments of nostalgia keep Jaimie’s spirit alive.
When the Haywood children were younger, holidays were a time of joy, togetherness, and special traditions passed down through generations. Wendy remembered one particular Christmas when her husband made an unforgettable sacrifice to preserve the magic for their children. It’s a memory the family holds dear to this day.
“We would go to my parents’ house every Christmas Eve,” Wendy said.
“Santa and all the gifts went with us from Tullahoma to Columbia, Tennessee. One night, we were setting out gifts when I realized I had left something at home. It was a one-and-a-half-hour drive, and my husband drove all the way to Tullahoma to get the one little thing our 4-year-old wanted. The kids had no idea what we went through just to bring them joy.”
Holidays are different now. The family feels Jaimie’s absence in every tradition, every gathering, and every laugh that isn’t hers. Since her passing, the family has had to adapt to changes in those traditions. The Haywood family finds ways to honor Jaimie’s memory by creating new moments while holding onto the old ones that keep her spirit alive.
“Holidays are a big deal, and it’s hard to change because we get so attached to the traditions,” Wendy said. “But through the loss of our daughter, I’ve learned to accept change, as hard as it is.”
Wendy said she and her family hold tightly to the hope that has sustained them and strive to share it with others.
“The things of this world no longer matter to us. What matters is leaving a godly legacy and knowing where you will spend eternity. God entrusted us with the loss of our daughter, and I want my brokenness to show others the hope in Jesus and how He can carry you through any trial.”
Looking back on the family’s healing journey, Jacob said, “God is good. There is hope.”
This has become the family’s mantra.
Jaimie may no longer walk this earth, but her love, faith, and joy continue to inspire her family — and countless others — to cherish every moment and let faith lead the way.
